My mafia romance is definitely an extension of the dark side of my soul. Something I have plenty of and can probably write for the rest of my life. Like everyone, I have my demons and the gray side of the world is something I’ve always been flirting with. It’s what got me into writing, showing me how to write a fact paced and compelling story. But it’s not why I wanted to write.
I want to do something different…
I’ve been starting stories since I was little, sensing in my gut how I was a true storyteller. How I was meant to share them with the world but I could never pinpoint why. Until I found my first couple of angsty romance books. The heart palpitations at 2 am because you can’t stop reading. The book hangovers. The character’s who live rent free in your mind for weeks after. That’s why I wanted to write. I want to make people feel things. I want them to question their own beliefs, showing them the world isn’t black and white. Not even a little bit. The world is so many different colors and layers, each filled with an amount of angst that comes to life in different ways for each person.
And so B. Lustig was born…
But even though I came to that realization, it wasn’t as easy as making the decision and creating another pen name. No, it took a very very broken hero that popped into my mind during my morning shower (apparently the best moment for inspiration) and his relentlessness to make me realize what I truly wanted to write. I didn’t even know how Hunter Hansen’s book would fit perfectly in the category of angsty romance books until he started shouting his story at me in something I can only describe as a fever dream.
The angst was all consuming…
I hadn’t read many angsty romance books at the time, but I knew when Hunter and Charlotte’s story left my fingers, I had something that was gold in my book. The angst was tangible. The level of pain that was pulling on my heart had me sobbing above my keyboard, but it was worth every step of the way. Their love story is as beautiful as it’s messy, but I think that’s what makes this book so special to me; it’s real. Love is hard work. Love is messy. I’ve been in love from head to toe with my husband since 2012, but let me tell you something? There is no pink cloud. It’s choosing each other every single day, over and over again because you refuse to live without the other person.
And that’s exactly what I wanna write about…
I don’t want to make it all cute and bubbly, and I also don’t want to make it dark and violent for the rest of my life. I want to focus my time, my writing, my talent on writing angsty romance books that rip your heart out before putting it back with some duct tape and a little bow on top. I want to make you feel the heartbreak you never hope to experience in real life before we can focus on the happy ending we all long for. I want to write the angsty romance books that will have you chatting to your friends about it for weeks, because you can’t get over the delicious mess you had to plow through and secretly you want more…
I want you to ache for the angst, and believe in the happily ever after. Because that’s what angsty romance books do; they make you believe there’s a happy ending for all of us. No matter how damaged our characters, how broken our souls or how fucked up our life.
Love is out there for all of us.
My angstiest book….
8 is a best friends to lovers, second chance romance that’s filled with more angst than you probably want to handle, read it here.
But if you already have, here’s my top 3 angsty romance books by other authors:
